Friday, 15 November 2013

Freebie Friday time!

Evening all,

A busy Friday today, so freebie Friday is a little later than usual today - our extract today comes from Jeff Gardiner's BRED IN THE BONE, which is a wonderful story of family relations gone awry - or at least, a family life that would be hard for most of us to recognise...

Copies of No Monsters Allowed are presently available on both Lulu and Amazon, and you can check out those links at http://www.lulu.com/shop/alex-davis/no-monsters-allowed/paperback/product-21240457.html and http://www.amazon.co.uk/No-Monsters-Allowed-Alex-Davis/dp/1907133828

Enjoy the extract, and more to follow next week!

Cheers

Alex



BRED IN THE BONE
By Jeff Gardiner

I can’t complain about my childhood. I had everything a kid could need: toys, my own room, food, a regular routine and I could watch the TV as much as I wanted. The only thing I felt some regret about my parents being too strict about me seeing friends, but they had their reasons and I understood them too.
To be honest I didn’t have many friends anyway, only Robbo at school and we got into some trouble together, although I was scared of doing anything too bad as it only upset my parents and you don’t want to know my Dad when he’s angry. Me and Robbo were never bullies or anything like that, just a bit naughty – you know; lazy, not bothering to do the work properly, losing books, giggling and chatting – the sort of things that really irritate teachers, but never get you into serious trouble. We bunked as well, but were clever about it and could expertly forge absence notes. Our form tutor never seemed unduly bothered. I never told my teachers anything, I just kept quiet at school and everyone left me to get on with my own thing.
After each day at school, I’d walk home, as it’s only a couple of miles, and go to the chip shop for our regular family order. I usually got home about five and I’d have to tidy up the place – usually the mess left by my Dad – feed the dog, a bull terrier called Trooper, and then when Mum came home at six she’d stick the dinner in the microwave and I’d go and wake up Dad.
Dad could be a bit unpredictable at times, but mum was expert at soothing him and they’ve always been affectionate, so I’ve got used to them kissing and cuddling in front of me. Mum always asked about school and I’d tell her lies about what I’d learnt which kept her happy. Dad would always show me his models: he called himself an artist, although he’d never displayed his work and refused to lower himself by joining the commercialised art-world, as it’s so full of ‘rich bastards who wouldn’t understand art if it was crammed up their arseholes’. Dad always made me laugh and we did a lot together. We liked movies and he’d let me stay up into the small hours, even on school nights, watching his favourite films. I’ve got lots of happy memories of times with Dad.
Dad made my favourite toy: a doll – a strange-looking creature that had no name, but that I had always loved and kept in my bed. It might seem a bit strange for a boy to have a doll, but it was just a toy creature – anyway I loved him the best. Dad was really generous in his art and he’d always be making me things and working out what I’d like next. He was thoughtful like that.
Sometimes I’d get a bit bored and wish I had a brother or sister, or that I could go out more with Robbo, but Mum and Dad were good company and I understood that I was needed to help them out with things around the house. Honestly I didn’t mind. It sounds weird, but I did all the cleaning, cooking and washing, not because they made me, but I knew that they were busy and I had the time to do these things. I was proud to be able to help my parents in this way. I never complained.


Extract and full story copyright © Jeff Gardiner 2009

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